The Honest Truth About Hating Chores (And What To Do When You Won’t Pay for Help)
Let’s be honest. Some of us simply hate chores. I’m talking about the deep sigh, shoulders-slumping kind of hate. The “I’d rather clean out my email inbox from 2007 than deal with another load of washing” kind of feeling. And don’t even get me started on gardening. Yes, I love the sunshine. Yes, I love my dog sniffing around the yard. But ask me to prune something and suddenly I’m very invested in reorganising my sock drawer.
But here’s where it gets tricky. Even though chores feel like an energy vampire, I still struggle to pay someone else to do them. Not because I think it’s wrong. Not because I don’t value the work. It’s more like this quiet voice in my head going, “You should be able to handle this, love.”
If that sounds familiar, you’re in good company.
In this blog post, we’re going to dive into:
- why chores and gardening feel so exhausting
- why outsourcing them triggers guilt
- how to make home care less painful
- systems that actually save time and headspace
- and when it is worth bringing in help
Consider this your friendly chat on the patio with someone who gets it – tea, wine, dog snoring nearby, the whole vibe.
Table of Contents
- Why We Hate Chores and Gardening
- Why You Might Feel Guilty Paying for Help
- How to Make Chores Less Awful
- Making Gardening Tolerable (or Even Kinda Nice)
- When Hiring Help Is Actually Worth It
- Etsy Printables You Might Love
Why We Hate Chores and Gardening
There’s always a deeper reason than “I can’t be bothered.”
The Mental Load
The mental load is that never-ending list running in your head:
- groceries
- laundry
- wiping benches
- feeds for the dog
- mowing
- bills
- bin day
It’s not the tasks themselves. It’s carrying the responsibility of noticing them.
The Time Cost
Life is full. Most Australians work long hours, and by the time you’ve held everything together for everyone, the last thing you want is to mop.
Chores take away the good stuff:
- naps
- reading
- walking the dog
- catching up with friends
- creative projects
- doing literally anything relaxing
No wonder we avoid them.
The Sensory Side of It
Some of us are sensitive to:
- the noise of vacuuming
- the smell of cleaning sprays
- dirt under nails
- bending, scrubbing, dragging hoses
If you have pain, fatigue, ADHD, sensory sensitivities, or conditions like FND, chores can feel physically and mentally taxing.
The Deeper Emotional Layers
Chores can trigger:
- perfectionism
- “I’m not keeping up” feelings
- frustration with family dynamics
- memories of how you were raised
- shame about clutter
It’s rarely about laziness. It’s about overload.
Why You Might Feel Guilty Paying for Help
This is such a common struggle, especially for women.
Upbringing and Beliefs
Many of us grew up with messages like:
- “You take care of your own home.”
- “Don’t waste money.”
- “Other people don’t need help, why do you?”
Strong beliefs stick around, even when they no longer serve us.
The “I Should Be Able to Handle This” Trap
This sneaky one hits hard.
Chores are seen as basic life skills. So, when you can’t keep up, your brain goes into:
“I’m failing at the basics.”
You’re not failing. You’re human.
The Money Mindset Element
Guilt can be tied to:
- fear of overspending
- feeling undeserving
- childhood money patterns
- financial stress or trauma
- valuing others more than yourself
Even when you can afford help, guilt can stop you.
How to Make Chores Less Awful
No forced joy here. Just options that help.
Simple Mindset Shifts
- “Done is better than perfect.”
- “Small steps count.”
- “Good enough is fine.”
- “This is a recurring task, not a failure.”
Low-Effort Routines
The 10-Minute Reset – Pick one area, set a timer, stop when it beeps.
The One-Touch Habit – Put things away the first time you pick them up.
Laundry Simplifiers
- stop folding undies, socks, sleepwear
- each person has their own basket
- wash and put away on the same day (or not – no judgement)
Kitchen Shortcuts
- wipe benches while kettle boils
- keep a “dump bowl” for stray items
- use slow cookers and one-pan meals on busy days
Tools and Systems That Actually Save You Time
- robot vacuums
- microfibre cloths
- hose-on fertilisers
- slow-release garden feeders
- printable planners
Making Gardening Tolerable (or Even Kinda Nice)
You don’t need to become a gardening goddess. Just a functional, minimal gardener.
Seasonal Habits That Work (Especially in Australia)
Summer
- water early morning
- mulch heavily
- avoid heavy pruning
Autumn
- best time for planting
- light prune
- prep soil
Winter
- major pruning
- dormant sprays if needed
Spring
- feed everything
- 5-minute weeding sessions
- admire the flowers and pretend you planned it
The Minimal Gardener’s Approach
- choose Aussie natives
- use groundcovers instead of lawn
- install raised beds
- mulch everything
- use weed mats where possible
Fruit Tree Routine
A simple year-round rhythm:
Summer
- water deeply weekly
- check pests
Autumn
- light prune
- remove fallen fruit
Winter
- major pruning
- dormant spray
Spring
- feed the soil
- mulch
When Hiring Help Is Actually Worth It
Sometimes outsourcing is the sanest, kindest option.
The Cost–Benefit Reality
Hiring help can save:
- arguments
- stress
- energy
- precious time
- mental load
And sometimes outsourcing one thing (like mowing) makes everything else feel manageable.
Outsourcing Without Guilt
Try these thoughts:
- “I’m supporting someone else’s business.”
- “My time matters.”
- “I don’t have to do everything myself.”
Etsy Printables You Might Love
From my shop: https://www.etsy.com/au/shop/AnneLawesDigital
Here’s what supports a simpler home and calmer mind:
- Meal Organiser – Perfect for busy weeks and bulk cooking.
- My Meaningful Daily Planner and Question Cards – to help you focus on what truly matters
You’re not lazy. You’re not failing. You’re simply carrying too much, living a big life, and trying your best. Chores and gardening aren’t easy for everyone, and that’s okay. With a few gentle routines, kinder expectations, and maybe even a bit of outsourcing, home life can feel calmer and more manageable.
And if you ever do hire help? That’s not giving up. That’s choosing support.
If this post made you nod, laugh, or feel seen, I’d love to hear from you. Please leave a comment.
